May 15th – Arsenal 4 Aston Vila 0

Well, knock me down with a feather.

If you can’t laugh yourself silly after today then you should let someone administer the last rites on you. I laughed myself silly. Don’t you just love karma. Te he. Actually, Te Fucking He. All season long we’ve had to hear about our demise and then on the last game that lot truly and utterly capitulate. They had put a new meaning to crumbling under pressure. I think they picked up something like 2 points in the last 4,000 games. Oh how it makes me so happy. As I’ve said many times before – if you can’t enjoy other peoples pain and suffering then you’re not human.

It’s one thing to lose away at Newcastle. But on the last day of the season when you just need 1 point to secure 2nd spot – and you’re playing against 10 men for the last 1/4rd of the game. Oh come on. Best team in London. I think not. Not by a country fucking mile. I don’t care how shit we are – at least we know it. We know we are riddled with problems – though with MA8 leaving we definitely get addition by subtraction. Did you catch that perfect pass he made to set up one of their attacks? Anyway back to Newcastle. How can any team fold like that? Pathetic. How do they end up 3rd after a season like that? Part of it is because they are such a young team – we had the same experience in 2008, 2009 (etc) – but it also raises questions about their leadership and their manager. Not that I would hesitate to steal their manager nor half their players. Let’s be clear. They are a better team than us – they play more exciting, less predictable, pressing football. They have players who would stroll into our team. And, yet, they’ve finished below us :). As tough as it’s been supporting our team this year how painful must it be to have supported that lot? And the difference come the end of the season? One point. That point at WHL when they were 2-1 against 10 men when Alexis stole a point. How that came back to haunt them. Perfect.

Ok, now I’ve got that childish rant over (well, actually, now over but…anyway). How good was it to see Santi back in the team? That’s what we can do when we don’t have Ramsey taking too many touches. For the first 15 minutes he controlled and steered the game. Of course we should have put the game away in the first 20 minutes. But because we like to over elaborate in the penalty box, we could not put any shots on target. Of course Big Ears contrived to let them have two solid chances from which they should have scored. He’s become a nasty liability that boy. But more of that later on when I pen an end of season analysis (how exciting is that to wait for?).

Alexis was still hogging the ball too much and Jack looked just a tad off the pace. Ozil was not quite tuned in. But AV were really crap. So bad they found a way to make Giroud look like a real center-forward. Aston Villa have all the traits that will cause them to sink far in the Champions League. If there’s a way for me to wager on them not winning automatic promotion I will. They are a dead cert to suffer more one league down.

Like the previous set of games we were way too intricate and one dimensional after that first 15 minute start. But thankfully we had the one goal lead. But just like we did against Crystal Palace we dithered around, made careless passes and failed to take our chances. With Newcastle doing there part there was a niggling feeling that we’d let them have at least one chance. And again, Big Ears let them put a shot in on Cech. But this time, our German wizard woke up to feed Giroud who took the shot so well. When he scores like this – as he did at Liverpool – it makes it even more annoying when he dithers around in the penalty box. It’s as though he’s been told to only shoot when he’s two yards out.  And the last one was, again, nicely taken. Then for the finale when MA8 nearly got a goal. It’s a shame Rosicky did not get on the pitch or, even, Theo. But, how can you not enjoy a morning (or afternoon) of football like that? 3 points and 2nd place. Te Fucking He.

A word about the cameras at these games. It’s getting beyond a joke. If someone knows who the fucking retard is that decides what cameras are selected to actually feature the picture I’d love to know. During todays game there was the fixation on the owner, manager and random section of the crowd at the expense of showing the action on the field. And then the idea of relentlessly showing replays when, again, the play is continuing. When the ball goes out of the play – fine. Show us replays or stupid pictures from the stands. But not when the game is going on. I tune to watch the entire game – not to watch the crowd interspersed with play on the field. This has been a trend for a year of two. But today was completely retarded. You now there’s someone in the control room somewhere making these choices. If anyone knows what the title is (aside from Retard From Hell) please let me know. My mission is to track down these people and get them to offer a Picture in Picture so we can continue to watch the game while others scan the crowd for deadbeat owners or stupid fans.

So, what a season. One of underperformance and yet end of season glee at the suffering of others.  Of course, today does nothing to obscure our own problems and deficiencies. Today does nothing to allay the concerns about our manager. Nor does today help us address the clear weaknesses in our team. It does nothing to help us justify why we did not win the league. Nor does it do anything to explain the long-term strategy for the club to leverage our mountain of cash into the world class team in England. But, fuck me if it was not enjoyable and made me laugh out loud. A lovely way to end a season. You have to enjoy what you can and appreciate the few moments of genuine happiness that get thrown your way.

Later this week I’ll focus on the breakdown of the team, what next year might look like and possible activity in the transfer window. One early development will be the possible return of DB10 – injured early in the season and then loaned out to other sites to hone his (limited) skills. The papers are claiming he might be involved in our pre-season but, of course, it will all depend on his salary demands.

Best Team In London

– LB7