Feb 15th – Bayern 5 Arsenal 1

What’s the fucking point. Why support a team that won’t support itself? Why even bother. Abject for sure. But, and I’m sure others won’t see it this way, so unnecessary. After the first half it really did not have to be that way. It started as a game of two penalties – one given and one not. And then devolved based on one enforced substitution. And then finished off by a bunch of German traitors. Normally you’d be in a strong position if you went to war with a couple of Germans on your side. But not today. Today those Germans essentially played for the other team.

Bayern were good. Even in the first half we could not put two passes together. The team selection was debatable but not so bad. Starting Ospina was not completely surprising. Seeing Gibbs at left back was plausible. Seeing Theo on the bench was encouraging. The team selection could not explain why we could not put two passes together the entire first half.

Alexis turned up for a big game. He worked tirelessly – even though most stuff did not come off. Ox, again, put in a decent shift. Aside that is, from his brain fart at the end. Really, what was he thinking. Or, maybe, he wasn’t. 0B1 worked really hard in defense but could not figure out how to pass the ball to a teammate.

Coq and Chaka were overrun in midfield. For their first goal Coq should never have shown Robbin the inside. Doesn’t he know that’s why Robbin plays on the right so he can cut in. And it must have been nice for Ozil to have just a pleasant view of that goal. In the second half there were a couple of times when, in similar positions, Ozil dropped back and closed up the space Robbin was occupying.

We started the second half reasonably. But once Koz went off we went to shit. Hell hath no fury than a pairing of Big Ears and Mustafa. This pairing was our entire undoing – with a little help from Ospina. Gibbs should have closed down the cross from Lamb but Mustafa was out muscled and Ospina lost his footing. But that was only 2-1. From thereon in it was self-destruction.

Mustafa was more concerned with shouting at his defenders than marking a man. Too often he had been caught out making tackles too far up the pitch but here he was focused on the wrong issues. It was a lovely flick by the big Pole but Mustafa had failed to notice his man slide past him.

Then for their next goal rather than attack the ball in the area Mustafa let the ball bounce and then failed to properly clear the ball. He let the fucking ball bounce in the penalty area. Let me say that again. He let the ball bounce in the penalty area. What the fuck was he thinking. Or was he. And then we were slow to come and out close them down. Sure they had a deflection or two.

Essentially, we imploded as soon as Koz went off. When we looked for some additional leadership from Mustafa what we got instead was an abject abdication of responsibility.

OK, that’s one Nazi eviscerated. Now let’s move onto the other. What the fuck has happened to Ozil. Martians have invaded the earth and have decided to invade this partial German and turn him into a fully-fledged England international. Over-rated and underachieving. His body language throughout the entire game was that of a pouting teenager just after being jilted by his girlfriend (to be clear, this is not something I have any experience with). What a contrast to our other big star. Alexis worked his arse off. The other one sat on his arse. Aside from the first goal where he stood and watched, there was barely any involvement – oh, aside from that tepid shot towards the end of the first half. Funnily enough (though not so funny as sad) we had a couple of chances to go ahead towards the end of the first half.

In many ways this was worse than Chelski. Bayern, I’m sorry, are not as good. We gave this one to them. We imploded. We caved in. We lay down and let them walk over us. We bottled it. How can we have the only two Germans you would not want to go into battle with alongside you. Maybe they were spies sent into our team via some cunning plan by those nasty Huns. We nearly had more Germans on the team than they had.

But even at 3-1 down the game was not lost. This was just the first leg. So why the fuck would you take of the Coq and expose yet further the weak spine of your team to Bayern? Why not send on a defender take off Ozil and lock down the game until the second leg. That move made no sense. And it was this move that removed any chance of us recovering in the second leg. We’re not Barcelona. We can’t score 4 goals without conceding. So let’s add AW into the list of our deficient Germans (he was born so close to their border – which tends to move around every war or two). Could he not see how poor and vulnerable our defense was? Why would you not take of Ozil and bring on Elneny? Why shove Ox into that position.

And here’s who we can’t blame. BigEars. He did fine. He worked hard. But was let down by his partner. This was just a clear German conspiracy. This was pay back for WWII and 1966. There can be no other explanation. It can’t be, can it, that these two players (and our manager) just plain suck balls?

What a joke. Performances (or lack thereof) like this are just fuel to the fire of the anti-AW crowd. It both feeds their narrative and adds to the army of people screaming for change. At some point it becomes self-fulfilling. The atmosphere will be so toxic; the air will be so polluted with venom that AW will walk away come the end of the season. That’s not to say he should not leave. But I hate the fact that the anti-Aw crowd will see this as a victory for Arsenal. How is that even conceivable. Today was utterly depressing. But not predictable. I would never have predicted this after the first half. We’d absorbed their domination. I would have taken a 2-1 or 3-1 lose. But, to be so weak, to be so careless. To be so shorn of on the field leadership. To be bereft of a spine. That’s the killer. Where was Coq, where was Chaka? Where was our midfield? As has been said. Who the fuck knows. And AW surely does not either. He’s fucked you know that. Enjoy his last few months. In years to come people will recognize this (not today mind you) as our golden period. We are about to step off from the edge of the cliff. Enjoy the journey (down).

What a shitty time to support this team. This is what it must be like to support all those other teams that never win anything or ever qualify for the UCL.

Who do I blame for this mess? Donald Trump. It’s clear. Ever since he became President our season has imploded. It’s clear there’s some alt-right conspiracy to undermine AW and Arsenal. Have you not noticed how all our left footed players now underperform (along with those that are right-footed as well). I, personally, hold President Trump responsible. I hear he even used a crocked pen to impair Carzolas Achilles tendon. OK, phew, at least now we know why.

Now for 10 days of nothingy-ness. To be followed by a manager-changing visit to Anfield. You can hear the hounds circling that game.

-LB7

Leave a Reply