Twenty four hours later I still feel pissed off and frustrated. I figured the time might heal the wounds but not really. Unlike the Thursday game where we could rightly blame circumstances aka a wanker for a referee, this one was entirely on us. No-one else to blame for this. No excuses. Well, apart from having Cedric in the team.
We did not turn up. We were missing in action. Or, rather, there was no action. This felt like we’d decided to repeat our performance against Brentford. Maybe it’s the stripped opposition. Newcastle, to be fair, were pretty decent. But it’s hard to understand how they won every tackle, every little skirmish and were always first to the ball. We looked to be playing at 1/3rd speed. We were slow to the ball and, at no time, did we get control of this game. We barely put any passes together. Even with 10 men (and against 12) on Thursday we created more chances.
Too many of our players were mere shadows of their former self. ESR was non-existent. He would lose the ball or make dubious passes. He looked entirely light-weight. In complete contrast to his Chelsea performance. I had to check a few times to see whether Odegaard was even on the pitch he was that anonymous. Of course, he was clattered one time in the first half but he barely touched the ball. These two don’t exactly carry any excess muscle and Newcastle all too easily leant in and got the ball from them. Xhaka and Elneny looked at odds and ends. The stability that they had provided for the last five games disappeared. Even the wonderful Ramsdale looked nervous in the first half. His distribution and timing seemed off.
As for the defense, as unhealthy as it looked, it only got worse once the curse of the hamstring struck Tomi. Maybe we should consider ourselves lucky to have had him play this last couple of games. His withdrawal brought in the midget-man Cedric. It was fun to see him consider marking their man-mountain Dunk from corners. This man is so poor he made Oh No not be the worse player on our team. Actually, it’s hard to pin any of this on Oh No. He was reasonably solid. But the entire game both White and Gabriel were under pressure. They had no chance to settle on the ball. Newcastle pressed high up and they had no outlets. Saka was hard to find and that just left Eddie. And, of all our players, I thought he was the best. Of course, that’s like saying of all dictators Mussolini was the best (of the worst). He was the only one who showed any spark and worked hard (Eddie not Mussolini). Over these few games you can see that his game has evolved. He is more than a poacher (not that he has poached recently). His link up play was quite effective. And, in context, when Cigarette came on, still Eddie linked up better.
Not that it mattered, we were flatter than a flat earth. We were more dead than a do-do. We were lost and aimless. We seemed shellshocked before any shells went off. We were outmanned because we had no men. We had no gas in the tank. We had no juice left. And I have no idea why. Was it tactics? Maybe? Was it Artetas’ strategy? Possibly. But if your players can’t make simple passes I don’t know what the manager is supposed to do. If a player, of real quality, like ESR can’t win a simple tackle, I don’t know what Arteta is supposed to do.
I’d like to suggest it’s because the players were just knackered after a long season. But it’s no longer than any other team. It’s not like we had European football to distract us. Maybe it’s related to our squad depth and the youth of our team. I felt that Saka had been run down for a month now. ESR has been carrying an injury. And, clearly, White and Gabriel were patched together with band-aid before being pushed onto the field. But if we’re an under-equiped squad to play the regular English season god helps us when we layer in 10+ games in Europe along with a World Cup sandwiched in between. The list of key starters – Tierney & Partey – along with the walking cripples of White, Gabriel, Tomi, Saka and ESR just about decimated this team. And then there is Cigarette. He has been truly extinguished. He can’t be part of this squad next year.
And nor can Pepe. He is one player who can’t possibly be running out of gas. He’s just not ever had any. And against Newcastle, when given his chance, he was classically useless. I know it would not have made a difference anyway, but it’s so depressing to see how wasteful he is. His clear talent has never translated to the EPL. He has to be flogged off in the summer. Get a can of tomatoes and a used newspaper in exchange if you can. But, really, his pass to Xhaka that exposed the entire defense i.e. by that stage, just poor old White, was so careless and inexcusable. White, half dead already had to then contend with a 2 on 1, only to be saved by Ramsdale. But how could Pepe be so irresponsible? Well, that’s just the way he rolls unfortunately. He reminds me of a less ugly version of Gervinho – who went onto have a good career in Italy. Let’s just hope we can package him together with the midget Cedric to complete the final stages of the clear out.
So we’re not headed to the Champions League. And after the last two games it’s hard to argue that we deserve it. The problem is that those other wankers – who don’t deserve it either – will get it. But I suspect it’s a pyrrhic victory. They are a long way away from having a real team there. It’s only because we’re such wankers that we let the door open for them.
For us, we’ll have to suffer through Sunday with the full knowledge we are destined for the NoHopaCup. As painful as that is, because we had the CL in our grasp, we chose to throw it away. Whether it was because to Paul Tierney, Rob Holding or our inability to travel beyond the wall of the north into that cold wasteland to face mighty Newcastle, it matters not now. Even as we suffer through this we have to console ourselves with the fact that we did not lose the CL in one game. Look back to those first three games, to the loss at Everton, to those Palace, Brighton and Southampton losses. Just a couple of points more from these games would have put us in the CL.
Remember, after three games of this season no-one would imagine we’d finished 5th. No-one would have imagined that we’d even qualify for the NoHoppaCup. I know it does not feel like an achievement. But it is progress. This team has developed. Sure, the last few games has illuminated our known issues. With careful recruitment – a center-forward, a center midfield player and a left back – we can build on last summers progress. If we are able to find equivalent players to White and Ramsdale, then the NoHoppaCup could be a good place for this young team to develop. We do need a backbone though. We need a few players who can grab a game by the scruff of the neck when we’re being battered. Someone who can lead on the field. Because that was clearly lacking. And we’ve seen that happen more than once this season.
So it’s not back to the drawing board. Not quite. It just feels like a wasted opportunity. And these windows don’t come along that often. I wonder, in future years, whether we’ll look back on this the same way we do on Leicester winning the league. Next season there is just no way Man United can be as utterly useless as this year. So, they will contend for that 4th spot. And West Ham are unlikely to have a distraction of European football – oh, hold on, they would get the European Conference thing. Maybe we can only pray that Chelski go bankrupt before the season starts.
Hopefully the atmosphere on Sunday will not be funereal. And, hopefully, on the side line, Arteta can find his energy. I think he was in shock for most the Newcastle game. We’ve seen this happen a few times. He looks like a deer in headlights. He’s a young inexperienced manager. But he has to find ways of reacting when his team completely go off the rails. He had no visible impact at half-time. He has to learn how to correct these situations. For Sunday though, let’s hope we get our energy, passion and creativity back. Unfortunately, our losing streaks come in 3 so that does not bode well. And let’s also hope the midget does not play right back. Though without Tomi I’d prefer to see anyone from the academy rather than our mustached midget.
- LB7