BradyBergkampandBeyond.co.uk

Top of the league. Nearly. Currently Man City and Man City Reserves have the top two spots. Creativity is running through our veins. We are on fire with Brazilians. As much as Jesus will and should grab the headlines don’t underestimate the Martinelli effect. He flew around like an annoying wasp causing Forfana all sorts of problems. His workrate and enthusiasm is contagious. And he scored the all important fourth goal to finally put the game to rest. He tormented them and then helped destroy them.

We weren’t perfect today. As we weren’t last week. But we did not need to be. We were more than good enough. We have plenty of time to reach perfection. And we might not reach that this year. But this is a team that continues to evolve, develop and progress. The season is young and this team is even younger. We will make mistakes – witness “our” third goal via Saliba. But today after each one rather than wilt in the summer heat we bounced back within 2 minutes after each of their goals. That is a testament to both how weak Leicester are and to how we have developed a smidge of a backbone. We’ve not seen that in the past few years. Though it would be preferable that we did not score an own goal nor that Ramsdale let them score from a narrow angle, it’s how we respond that counts.

It’s noticeable how with Zinny in the team we are much more dominant on our left hand side. Saka has yet to fully find his form. No worries, there’s plenty of time for that. And, lacking Toomy behind him and with a slightly subdued Odegaard contributes a little. The interplay and movement between Martinelli, Xhaka and Zinny was excellent. Often we’d see Zinny come inside to play more like a left midfield player – in the same way Canseco did for City v West Ham – and that allowed Xhaka to play much further up. In addition to his goal Xhaka was way more active in their penalty box. Zinny seems to have liberated Xhaka; he’s given Xhaka the freedom to be more creative and progressive. Not that Xhaka was perfect today. In the first half he was too slow on the ball and caught by Forfana. It was Ramsdale that bailed us out.

And even after our second goal we were saved by, of all things, Mike Dean. The annoying fucker finally retires, heads up into the VAR room (wherever that is) and then proceeds to out VAR Vardy. The cheating git (not his wife) rolls over with the barest touches and get the immediate penalty call. Until Dean comes to the rescue – I can’t believe after all these years I’ve written that sentence. Maybe all those years of denying us points and goals he finally realized he owed us. Sure, it was not a penalty but it’s was not obvious to me it was clear and obvious. Not, that is, by the unreliable standards of a PL referee. But luck shone on us, and the call was reversed. What’s not to love about VAR.  Especially when it penalizes Vardy.

I loved the way the crowd responded to the Saliba own-goal. He is class. But he’s young and will make mistakes. Without wishing to revisit past nightmares, imagine the reaction if that had been Mustafa or David Luiz. But there is awareness that this boy is special and we need some patience. Though it could be argued that Ramsdale did not help with this one. Overall though it was another impressive performance from Saliba. He had Vardy in his pocket. But, this boy is a star make no mistake about it. He will banish our past disasters of the last 5+ years. Alongside him Gabriel was defensively solid. It’s just his passing that causes me  angst. Teams will soon figure out that if they isolate him on the ball it’s much harder for us to create. He has to stop trying to make those long, Toure-like, passes and just keep things simple. In the first half he tried one of those overelaborate cross-field passes that got easily intercepted and allowed them to counter-attack. Against better teams that will burn us.   

Jesus deserved a hattrick today and could have easily had one. The difference from last years center-forwards could not be more dramatic. Cigarette lacked the movement and finishing instinct and Aubameyang could only play on their last line of defense. Gabriel though can play anywhere. He drifted out to the left and right and wherever he went he caused havoc. He’s energized Martinelli – if that was possible. And he’s a goal-scorer. That first goal was sublime. Delicate and intelligent. I’m not sure that we’ve seen many center-forwards at Arsenal who could do that. Maybe the original #14 or the god-like #10. But no-one else. Only to be followed up with a poachers goal at the back post – just as we’d seen in pre-season. He had other breakaways and openings to score a third. But so far, it’s clearly been money well spent. You can see why Edu did not want to waste money on signing anyone this last January. They knew who they wanted and when they would get him. So, for all the bleating of our juvenile, emotionally unstable fans (who are all too prevalent in the AON documentary), this is what happens when you have a plan and stick with it. When you invest in the future – patiently – you end up with a world class forward. This boy has dancing feet. He will tip-toe through defenses. And his speed of thought is infectious. He’s already help take Martinelli to another level. And once Saka adjusts to the new season – and has Tommy behind him – he will also prosper.

Letting in two goals is not great. But it helps amplify that there is ample room for improvement. We were a little sloppy in defense today. They had too many chances. I thought White had another testing day – not as much as last week. But you can see he’s not a natural right-back. With his substitution through a knock, it’s going to be tough for him to retain his position. We finished with our two recognized fullbacks but I think one of them will have to be a little more patient. Zinny has to be our starter. He helps fuel our creativity.

The balance of this team has shifted though. There is no doubt now we can create. None of the stodgy sideways play we’ve seen in the recent past. With Odegaard, Saka, Martinelli and Jesus we have an electric attacking group of players with ESR, Viera and Eddie on the bench. We are gaining depth in the important areas. I’d just like to see some back-up for Partey. He was not at his best today – too many sloppy passes – but he was good enough. But when he’s not available, as much as I like Elneny, we will be exposed defensively. Tielemans did not exactly put himself in the shop window today. It did not help that self-loving Rogers played him on the right hand side where Xhaka completely dominated him.  

It’s good to see fringe players depart – Torreira has finally been deposited offshore and Mari has been dumped in Italy. We have to figure out Bellerin – who has earned the right to leave – and AMN. Both should be gone by the end of the month. Which means one more midfield player and some cover for Saka – assuming we can offload Pepe.

You can only beat what’s in front of you and today we outplayed Leicester and thoroughly deserved to win. Some of our creative play was sparkling. This team has built a foundation on which he can now launch itself. But football is fragile. We’re only one or two injuries from being exposed – as we were at the end of last season. That’s why we need a little more squad depth. But this year will be exciting. The odd disaster will come our way but this is a team you want to watch and root for. This is a real football team. One that will entertain. We just have to make sure it retains a backbone. Because that will be needed against the big boys and the more brutish teams.

• LB7

Boom. That’s the way to start a season. Welcome back. And what a contrast to last season. But before we go further, let me welcome back my reader. All one of you. I’m sure you’ve been starved of these insightful, academic, thoughtful and knowledgeable articles. It must have been tough to navigate the off-season without these reviews. But aside from deciding to not review pre-season I’ve been otherwise occupied. The usual stuff, like any of us, curing world hunger, advising world politicians on world peace (they’ve not been listening obviously) and developing various cures for cancer. Oh, and sitting on my couch eating pizza and sushi. You should try that sometime. The pizza and sushi that is.

Anyway, I’m actually excited to be back. This season will be yet another step forward to the promised land. We won’t get there this year. But it’s clear what direction we’ve going in. This off season has been as equally impressive as last year. But more on that later.

Three points well-earned at Palace; thoroughly deserved. I know one game does not make a season – and a long WC interrupted one at that – but contrast this performance with the one here last year. That first 20 to 30 minutes we were dominating. We should have been more than one up. Martinelli scored a poachers goal but also missed an earlier, easier chance care of the energetic, fleet footed and impressive Jesus. I never really got him at Man City. There he seemed peripheral without a clear role; always on the edge of the action but not central. But, for us, he was key. He lead the line, hustled their defense and generated chaos and chances. I will endeavor to refrain from making the obvious religious/god/savior references. But the presence of Jesus completely extinguishes Cigarette and demonstrated what we’ve been lacking for a year or two now.

During that initial period all three new additions shone. Zinchenko showed all the awareness and creativity that we’ve been lacking. He linked up smoothly with Xhaka and also played the ball forward. And he did not give the ball away. Imagine that. Nuno where are you? Let’s hope you were watching. Because, sure as shit, this is truly addition by subtraction. Not having Mr. OhNo on the left hand side – Mr. Utter Chaos – killed us last season. So our headless chicken is now in Marseille. I would guess they will turn him more into a Guendouzi than a Saliba. But god are we so fortunate to be shot of him. Without his crazy runs, lack of defending and general disruption, the defense looked so solid. Granted Zinny is not the best defensive left-back but there was balance there with Xhaka. Zenny, obviously, helped create that first goal.

So we are now Manchester City Reserves. I’ll take that. Could be worse. That would make us the second or third best team in the league. And there will be other similarities. Ben White will morph into John Stones. Being made to play out of position and fight for limited playing time. Because once Tommy comes back White surely will be in the bench. To be fair he won’t come up against someone of Zahas quality every week. But he got roasted so many times I thought he ended up as burned Black by the end. He game today was poor. His distribution was inconsistent, making poor passes and giving away possession too often. Zaha unnerved him today and disrupted his game. Obviously, even with a performance like this he was still a superior option to Cedric. During pre-season, where we started the midget and oh-no as our fullbacks, I was have mid-summer nightmares. So even though White was our worst player today, our weakest link, at least he kept a good defensive line.

Alongside him there was the shockingly mature and impressive Saliba. He was just plain old masterful. I’m trying to think who he compares to. You lot won’t remember David O’Leary in his prime except Saliba has real pace. He covered for White and knitted the entire defense together. Arteta received a lot of undeserved criticism for his handling of Saliba. All unfounded but part of the usual agenda of trying to put pressure on Arteta and Arsenal – both by the media and the juvenile, temperamental, jonny-come-lately Arsenal fans. Today you could see that at 21 Saliba is the real deal. Calm, composed, speedy and reads the game so well. And his distribution was excellent. Adams, Keown and Bould never had Saliba speed. Maybe Ferdinand (Rio not his little brother) would be a better comparison. He makes everyone around him better. Including Gabriel. With the defensive options available we now have a crop of defenders who can defend. Good riddance oh-no and (soon) midget-man. I just can’t figure out who can replace Gabriel if he’s injured. Maybe Tesco Tierney with Zinny at left-back. At least we don’t have to waste Xhaka at left back now.

And how good was Xhaka again today. He looks so much more comfortable in this formation. His positional sense and distribution were fun to watch as he floated around while he still made important defensive interceptions. And between him and the defense was our party man (unfortunate given the things we’re not supposed to comment on). Anyway, Partey was a joy to watch today. I know Saliba shone brightest but watch Partey closely. His one touch, speed of passing was the engine of the team today. Often he was surrounded by 2 payers but still moved the ball quickly without taking unnecessary touches. And he did not get booked.

In general, because of Partey, our ball movement was infinitely quicker than we’ve seen. With Odegaard making intelligent runs and seeing passing lanes that others can only dream of, we were a creative threat down both side of the pitch. It’s interesting that we play our two best left footed players on the right. The interplay between Odegaard and Saka – and of course, Jesus but he’s not left-footed so that does not fit into this train of thought – tested Palace all game. Saka roasted their full-back and, basically, got that second goal. If he could shot with his right foot as well – and he has more than enough time to improve on that – he would have had another. The combinations of our attacking players now remind me of that time when we had Santi and Rosicky rapidly linking up play. Except this is a group of kids in their early 20s. The future is bright. And the future is ahead of us. Yes, I know, that’s how the futures works. There will be games in this long season when we get torn apart and roasted because we are a young team but in terms of potential there is no-one in the league that can match up. Just remember our youth during those painful matches where we get out bullied and Xhaka is sent off. Notice that it is the engine room of our midfield where we have our only two players who are “old”; both 29 I think. That’s where experience is vital. Again, as with Man City Reserves they are our Fernandinho.

Ramsdale- the grinning Cheshire cat – made two crucial saves today. His distribution was not perfect today and sometimes you fear for his holding onto the ball too long. But he saved us today and gave us a clean sheet. I liked Leno but, aside from the steal price that Fulham paid, Ramsdale is so much better. It’s like comparing Tommy and the midget man.

Palace adapted their shape after the first 25 minutes. But they are so lop-sided. Literally everything came down their left. Always through Zaha. And they were most dangerous when they played long balls from their center-half over the top. White had a lot of trouble, as did Zinny in the latter stages. Which is why it was nice to see Tesco come on. I don’t think though he played more than 30 minutes during all of the pre-season. So we need to wrap him up in cotton wall to protect him.

Palace has always been a very loud, intimidating crowd packed into a small, snug stadium. Yet it was our away fans that we could hear all game. They have something to cheer now. Our signings in the last two years and the cleaning out of the squad have been pretty dramatic. Think back to who started last year at Brentford. Then go back to when the Accountant bored us to death with his team. No Mustafi, Ozil, Kolinsac, Bellerin, Leno, David Luiz, Mikkytarrien, Aubameyang, Lacazette, Torreira, Mari, etc. We just have to get rid of Pepe now. Surely we can offer him along with a bag of crisps and a year long subscription to a football magazine. I mean come on Newcastle, you have all that sports-washed money, why not give us some of it. You’ll love Pepe. He should go to Italy or back to France. He reminds me of Gervinho. Just not as ugly.

A word on Arteta. I’ll be saying the same thing all season long. As I did last season (apart from one occasion). He is the man. Yes, that is more than one word. And I’m not finished. He is clearly crafting a team to play like the Manchester first team. We have our KDB in Odegaard. John Stone, Zinny, Jesus etc. He has a plan and has unquestionably improved this team and club. I’m only two episodes into the Amazon thing but you can see he has a clear vision, understand people and has their respect. That move of having the photographer give the speech before the NLD was class. He will make mistakes, as any first time manager would, but he’s our man. Deserves our support. And needs our patience. We are not the finished article yet. Get Tielemans and cover for Saka. We need a little more steel in the team as well. But Arteta (and to be fair, Edu) has turned this club on its head. It’s brought back passion and heart. And he’s been supported by Silent Stan and his little boy. Lots of money spent. But spent well (if you ignore Pepe). So, a good day for Arteta today. When he gets us to the promised land he will deserve to be spoken of in the same breath as AW. AW never had to do the complete, top to bottom rebuild that MA has. But I’m getting ahead of myself. That’s all for next season.

Two other quick observations. The first – there were no VAR interruptions today. Sure a few reviews for (non) penalties but no delays for offside. What a pleasure. There was a real flow to the game today. It makes a real difference.

And secondly, did you notice that the linesman flagged for offside when it was offside? What a novel concept. A linesman who actually uses his flag to make decisions and raise his flag. How did they come up with that idea? Pretty creative, huh?

All in all a great day, great performance, great result.

Let’s hear it – We are top of the league, we are top of the league. *

-LB7

*OK, not by the time I’ve posted this and you’re reading it.

So near yet so far. A fine season comes to a close with a deadening silence. For us it’s the NoHoppaCup – no surprise there given the prior two results. And, as they say, the table does not lie. But in this case the team above us is inferior in every way aside from two world class strikers.

Everton should have been relegated – along with Burnley, of course. They are pretty crap. But you can only beat what’s in front of you. And we thrashed them. I know they had nothing to play for apart from pride. But evidentially they don’t have any. We dominated from the first to last minute. And care of the wonderful ObeOne we actually were the beneficiaries of a penalty. But I don’t really get why it took them so long to decide. It either is or is not. In the case you could make the argument that it hit way above his elbow. But then he also made a move to the ball. If it wasn’t given I would not have gone mad. Of course, it was that other team in North London, it would have been given immediately without the help of VAR and, in all likehood, before the game started..

We began the game the way we should have against Newcastle. Creating and passing quickly. And once we got one it became so easy. Odegaard was clearly present for this game and dictated the game. Whereas on their side they had Deli Ali. His objective it seemed was to rile up Xhaka to try and get him sent off. I can’t believe that Ali did not get a yellow for some of his lame, late tackles. And yet more amazing was that Xhaka not only stayed on the pitch but did not even pick up a yellow. I’ll never get what Lampard saw in Ali and why he’s in this team. If that’s evidence of Lampard’s judgement then they will be stuck in the relegation zone again next year.

Eddie nipped in with a classic poachers goal. And, again, his link up play was both effective and nimble. Like Monday, this was amplified once Cigarette replaced him. Cigarette immediately missed a chance and then had a few other shots that explained why he’s not scored since man landed on the moon. And, yet again, he continues to foul the defenders just inside our half to set up their set pieces. I am so looking forward to him returning to France. I would willing pay for the airfare and personally drive him to any French club of his choosing. As likable as he is, he’s never lived up to the required standards. And in the last 12 months he has materially hurt our team. Not intentionally, it’s just that he’s not up to the level of the Premier League any more.

Xhaka was not pressurized today and therefore had ample time to stroke the ball around. But Elneny was the key creator today. Taking the ball from the defense and pushing us forward. In retrospect we lost 4^th place when we started Sambi in midfield over Elneny and pushed Xhaka to left-back. But, at the time, no-one would have countenanced Elneny playing over Sambi. But hindsight being what it is. Oh well.

And when Sambi came on you could see he did not have the positional awareness we need. And on that point, OhNo put in a typical shift. Not completely awful though he was barely tested. However, at the start of the second half, when Everton decided to actually try and play he both found a way to play the ball directly to them in a dangerous position and then give away a foolish foul on Calvert-Lewin. OnHo had a few chances on goal and, of course, managed to blast them way off target. We unquestionably, desperately require a real left-back for next season. And if it could be a part-exchange with OhNo and a pack of crisps, then so much the better. I don’t think I have enough years left on this planet to see OhNo develop into a trusted football player. He is what Theo would be at left back. Fast, exciting and totally unreliable. Though that might be a little unfair on Theo.

And on his vaunted return we saw again why we need Saliba back here next year. Poor Holding, who looks like he has a proper hedge growing on his head now, just makes too many mistakes at this level. He is an earnest, committed version of Mustafa. I can’t believe I’ve just said that. But when you consider the lack of judgement in the NLD and the decision today to leave the ball from Calvert-Lewin as it ran across our 6 yard area, you have to wonder whether he will ever be of the required quality. We all love our Rob but, at the level we’d like to get to, he’ll be left by the road side. Assuming, that is, we can convince Saliba to return. My hope is that he can replace Gabriel. Though he scored today he still insists on making long passes when Elneny or Odegaard is the obvious – and quicker – pass. Anyway, look at any of the top team and you’ll see they all carry at least 3 first rate center-halves. We need that.

Martinelli was a live wire again creating havoc down our left hand side. It makes you wonder why he did not start on Monday. He had chances – which we should have taken – but he adds a real threat down the left. It’s just a shame he has to work with OhNo and not Tierney.

As pleasant as today was I do wonder why we had to bring on Pepe at 4-1 up with nothing to play for. Hopefully he’s sold off in some garage sale over the next month or so. In this one instance the Accountant (i.e. Emery) was 100% right. We should have gotten Saha. Though with the emergence of Saka we actually needed neither. Well, definitely not Pepe. If we can get a bubble-gum wrapper and a half eaten hot dog I’d consider that a good trade. But why didn’t Arteta bring on one of the young kids. By this stage there was nothing to play for and they would have benefits from the experience.

Let’s hope that both Saka and ESR take nice long summer breaks though I fear stupid England internationals might interfere. Both have looked knackered over the last few games. At their age they’ve been played too much. Of course, if Pepe was not such a waste, Saka could have got some recovery time. But Saka, along with Ramsdale, were our players of the year. Not something you could ever accuse Pepe of. What a waste of money.

I nearly forgot. Cedric scored. That means he actually hit the target. It was, in truth, a well-taken goal. But I fear it might encourage him to try more shots or free-kicks. And that would be a disaster. Anyway, my bigger hope is that not only does Tomi make it back, fit and eager for the new season but that we find an alternate right-back to Cedric. If we want to progress we can’t have him as the back-up right back (nor OhNo as the backup left back). But today, give him credit. He hit the target. But lightening does not strike twice in the same place so let’s off-load him while he’s still smiling.

It’s a shame we could not produce a performance like this in the prior two games, though, to be fair, the opposition were at a very different level. It was pretty inevitable how today would play out for 4^th so we can’t say it was surprising even if there will always be lingering regret. But we can only blame ourselves (and Paul Tierney). Long-term, we might be grateful for entering Europe through the NoHoppa Cup. We need a couple more transfer windows to fully re-tool this squad. We’ve made excellent progress. Consider who we’ve jettisoned in the last 18 months – Ozil, David Luiz, Kolinsac, Mustafa, Ospina, Mikeytarrian, Aubameyang, Chambers, Mari, Torreira, Guendouzi and (yuk) Willian. That’s an entire team even ignoring those we’ve sent out on loan (Nelson, AMN etc). Though I hate those cheats and wankers from up the road getting into the CL, I like our progression and trajectory. The NoHoppaCup suits us quite nicely and will give playing time to our younger, less experienced players. And it will allow us to patiently add a few key players. Now that Mbappe has, for some crazy reason, decided to re-sign with the money pit of PSG as opposed to take the opportunity to lead the line at The Emirates, we can focus on the importance of the summer signings. But that’s for another post once we’ve digested and recovered from the trauma of the last few weeks. There will be ample time for reflection I’ll gather my usual random thoughts and see if I can generate a coherent, semi-intelligent review of the year later this week. A high bar indeed, I know. But I can hear by regular reader demanding to hear my thought (or, just maybe, thoughts).

And, remember, there is always next year. We’ll all be heading to Budapest! Oh come, on, no, not to fight the Russians – it’s where the NoHoppa Final is next year.

-LB7

Twenty four hours later I still feel pissed off and frustrated. I figured the time might heal the wounds but not really. Unlike the Thursday game where we could rightly blame circumstances aka a wanker for a referee, this one was entirely on us. No-one else to blame for this. No excuses. Well, apart from having Cedric in the team.

We did not turn up. We were missing in action. Or, rather, there was no action. This felt like we’d decided to repeat our performance against Brentford. Maybe it’s the stripped opposition. Newcastle, to be fair, were pretty decent. But it’s hard to understand how they won every tackle, every little skirmish and were always first to the ball. We looked to be playing at 1/3^rd speed. We were slow to the ball and, at no time, did we get control of this game. We barely put any passes together. Even with 10 men (and against 12) on Thursday we created more chances.

Too many of our players were mere shadows of their former self. ESR was non-existent. He would lose the ball or make dubious passes. He looked entirely light-weight. In complete contrast to his Chelsea performance. I had to check a few times to see whether Odegaard was even on the pitch he was that anonymous. Of course, he was clattered one time in the first half but he barely touched the ball. These two don’t exactly carry any excess muscle and Newcastle all too easily leant in and got the ball from them. Xhaka and Elneny looked at odds and ends. The stability that they had provided for the last five games disappeared. Even the wonderful Ramsdale looked nervous in the first half. His distribution and timing seemed off.

As for the defense, as unhealthy as it looked, it only got worse once the curse of the hamstring struck Tomi. Maybe we should consider ourselves lucky to have had him play this last couple of games. His withdrawal brought in the midget-man Cedric. It was fun to see him consider marking their man-mountain Dunk from corners. This man is so poor he made Oh No not be the worse player on our team. Actually, it’s hard to pin any of this on Oh No. He was reasonably solid. But the entire game both White and Gabriel were under pressure. They had no chance to settle on the ball. Newcastle pressed high up and they had no outlets. Saka was hard to find and that just left Eddie. And, of all our players, I thought he was the best. Of course, that’s like saying of all dictators Mussolini was the best (of the worst).  He was the only one who showed any spark and worked hard (Eddie not Mussolini). Over these few games you can see that his game has evolved. He is more than a poacher (not that he has poached recently). His link up play was quite effective. And, in context, when Cigarette came on, still Eddie linked up better.

Not that it mattered, we were flatter than a flat earth. We were more dead than a do-do. We were lost and aimless. We seemed shellshocked before any shells went off. We were outmanned because we had no men. We had no gas in the tank. We had no juice left. And I have no idea why. Was it tactics? Maybe? Was it Artetas’ strategy? Possibly. But if your players can’t make simple passes I don’t know what the manager is supposed to do. If a player, of real quality, like ESR can’t win a simple tackle, I don’t know what Arteta is supposed to do.

I’d like to suggest it’s because the players were just knackered after a long season. But it’s no longer than any other team. It’s not like we had European football to distract us. Maybe it’s related to our squad depth and the youth of our team. I felt that Saka had been run down for a month now. ESR has been carrying an injury. And, clearly, White and Gabriel were patched together with band-aid before being pushed onto the field. But if we’re an under-equiped squad to play the regular English season god helps us when we layer in 10+ games in Europe along with a World Cup sandwiched in between. The list of key starters – Tierney & Partey – along with the walking cripples of White, Gabriel, Tomi, Saka and ESR just about decimated this team. And then there is Cigarette. He has been truly extinguished. He can’t be part of this squad next year.

And nor can Pepe. He is one player who can’t possibly be running out of gas. He’s just not ever had any. And against Newcastle, when given his chance, he was classically useless. I know it would not have made a difference anyway, but it’s so depressing to see how wasteful he is. His clear talent has never translated to the EPL. He has to be flogged off in the summer. Get a can of tomatoes and a used newspaper in exchange if you can. But, really, his pass to Xhaka that exposed the entire defense i.e. by that stage, just poor old White, was so careless and inexcusable. White, half dead already had to then contend with a 2 on 1, only to be saved by Ramsdale. But how could Pepe be so irresponsible? Well, that’s just the way he rolls unfortunately. He reminds me of a less ugly version of Gervinho – who went onto have a good career in Italy. Let’s just hope we can package him together with the midget Cedric to complete the final stages of the clear out.

So we’re not headed to the Champions League. And after the last two games it’s hard to argue that we deserve it. The problem is that those other wankers – who don’t deserve it either – will get it. But I suspect it’s a pyrrhic victory. They are a long way away from having a real team there. It’s only because we’re such wankers that we let the door open for them.

For us, we’ll have to suffer through Sunday with the full knowledge we are destined for the NoHopaCup. As painful as that is, because we had the CL in our grasp, we chose to throw it away. Whether it was because to Paul Tierney, Rob Holding or our inability to travel beyond the wall of the north into that cold wasteland to face mighty Newcastle, it matters not now. Even as we suffer through this we have to console ourselves with the fact that we did not lose the CL in one game. Look back to those first three games, to the loss at Everton, to those Palace, Brighton and Southampton losses. Just a couple of points more from these games would have put us in the CL.

Remember, after three games of this season no-one would imagine we’d finished 5^th. No-one would have imagined that we’d even qualify for the NoHoppaCup. I know it does not feel like an achievement. But it is progress. This team has developed. Sure, the last few games has illuminated our known issues. With careful recruitment – a center-forward, a center midfield player and a left back – we can build on last summers progress. If we are able to find equivalent players to White and Ramsdale, then the NoHoppaCup could be a good place for this young team to develop. We do need a backbone though. We need a few players who can grab a game by the scruff of the neck when we’re being battered. Someone who can lead on the field. Because that was clearly lacking. And we’ve seen that happen more than once this season.

So it’s not back to the drawing board. Not quite. It just feels like a wasted opportunity. And these windows don’t come along that often. I wonder, in future years, whether we’ll look back on this the same way we do on Leicester winning the league. Next season there is just no way Man United can be as utterly useless as this year. So, they will contend for that 4^th spot. And West Ham are unlikely to have a distraction of European football – oh, hold on, they would get the European Conference thing. Maybe we can only pray that Chelski go bankrupt before the season starts.

Hopefully the atmosphere on Sunday will not be funereal. And, hopefully, on the side line, Arteta can find his energy. I think he was in shock for most the Newcastle game. We’ve seen this happen a few times. He looks like a deer in headlights. He’s a young inexperienced manager. But he has to find ways of reacting when his team completely go off the rails. He had no visible impact at half-time. He has to learn how to correct these situations. For Sunday though, let’s hope we get our energy, passion and creativity back. Unfortunately, our losing streaks come in 3 so that does not bode well. And let’s also hope the midget does not play right back. Though without Tomi I’d prefer to see anyone from the academy rather than our mustached midget.

• LB7

Or Tierney 3 Arsenal 0. Or Cedric+Holding 3 Arsenal 0

You wait the entire week for the game and you get this shit. I was as excited and nervous for a game as I have been in ages. And within 20 minutes it’s all up in smoke. The cumulative effect of each of Tierney’s decision was to give the game to Sp*rs. Sure Holding butchered Son a little – who wouldn’t? And why not? But why did he have to give the penalty? Sure Cedirc is dumb. We know that. But no-one is actually reaching that ball as it was too high. And, for their third goal Kane clearly pulls on Gabriel and yet that’s not a foul. But Tierney changes the course of the game with that penalty call. It was borderline and he did not need to give it. This reminded me of Michael Oliver at Wolves sending off Martinelli. It just did not need to happened. But this is Tierney. A bullshit referee that makes you pine for the days of Mike Dean.

Clearly Cedric bares some responsibility. Just as Holding does for his consistent fouling on Son. But, even for his second booking, the ball was going way away from the players so it was not like he blocked any chance. He did use his shoulder and you can see him raise his elbow but he did not have to book him. He could have given a final warning or something. He could have exercised some judgement. But, no, just like the penalty, he was very quick to make that decision and then, again, change the course of the entire game.

Prior to that we had come out firing. Sp*rs were looking to play their boring defensive containment brand of football (yawn) and to hit us on the counter-attack; and this was a home game for them, mind you. We moved the ball around and looked in control. Until Tierney stepped in.

It’s so frustrating. All the luck we’ve had in the last four games evaporated. In addition to losing Holding for the next game it looks like we lost Gabriel for the season. And White, who was warming up never came on. Maybe he’s being saved for Monday but I fear he really is not fit. So we’re out of center-halves for Monday.

By the way, before the second goal Saka was fouled and they got the free-kick that lead to the corner and the goal. Tierney did not give us any decisions. He just handed us a red card and numerous yellows. This is not how you referee a top flight game. I’ve always thought he was a joke and tonight we got confirmation of it. He is not fit to referee. But he won’t be held accountable. He was their difference maker. What should have been a balanced and genuinely competitive contest was rendered useless. After a game like that you can’t tell who was the better team.

So I lay this at the feet of Teirney. I think that’s pretty clear. But, and here’s the funny thing (though I know no-one, in particular me, is laughing), we all know that have the youngest team in the Premier League. We lack experience. And tonight it showed. But we will learn and improve. But yet our failures today were not due to our youngsters but actually our older players. It was not the inexperienced players that let us down tonight. Cedric – who is as close to retirement as we can hope – and Holding are two of our most experienced players (aside from Xhaka). They are certainly our oldest. And yet, it was their decisions that cost us this game. Well, apart from Tierney but maybe I’ve already mentioned that.

What was Holding thinking? Did he let Son rile him up? If so, even more shame on him. This was his chance to nail down that position. He’s been so solid up until now. I’ve not seen him lose control but tonight he did. And even though the referee was a wanker, Holding did not need to give him the opening to book him again. And as for Cedric, in addition to the stupid challenge in the box for the (non)-penalty, he also found ways to pass the ball back to Sp*rs and set up more chances for them. He has replaced On No as our kamikaze full-back and our liability.

Arteta seemed, from the penalty decision onwards, in shock. For that first 20 minutes he was his usual self. But once they went 1-0 up it looks like he could not channel his anger and frustration into tactics. It was interesting though that he warmed up White but did not bring him on. As mentioned, this does not bode well. It was interesting to see Tomi move to center back. We’ll need him there for Monday. But Arteta will also have learned a lot. He won’t have learned that Tierney is a wanker because he’ll have known that already.

I also have a sneaking fear that he should have pulled Saka off because he did not look entirely healthy and we’ll need him for Monday. He protected Eddie but not Saka. As an aside, when Cigarette came on it only amplified how much better Eddie is. I know it was only for ten minutes but his lack of mobility compared to Eddie shone though.

There were little periods in the second half when we created some chances – for example, when Odegaard shot right at Lloris or when he had a shot deflect away by Davies. This was like the Southampton game, nothing was going our way, we were never going to score and we certainly were not going to get any calls from this wanker referee. So most of the rest of the game turned into a training session. Sp*rs did not need to extend themselves. They should and could have rung up the score. I would have hoped we would have in the same position. As it was, this game was effectively done after 20 minutes. What a waste.

We are in Europe next year irrespective. I would not bet on it being the Champions League. Without White and Gabriel, and with an unfit Saka, we now have two challenging games versus the easier fixture for them. We have to win both games. Hopefully by the last game of the season Everton will be safe from relegation. But the Newcastle game is going to be challenging. Look how hard it was for Liverpool. For us to have any chance of three points (or any) we will need a different referee and definitely the luck we had in the last four games.

I know I should be angrier. I was from their first goal until half-time but then it became a joke and I was more worried about not getting Xhaka sent off. I have no idea why he did receive a yellow card because the cameras continued this trend of showing us the crowds and not the game. Or the managers and not the game. I will know when we have entered the future when we actually can watch games with picture in picture. Or where we can chose the camera angles. Because whoever in the production room is making those decision is a cretin. We want to watch the action on the field not some chubby, hairless tattooed twat in the stands. As anyone who has the misfortune to know me will attest, this has been a frustration of mine for many years. It’s as though the producers (or directors, whoever they are) are trying to create some real-time artistic reality show with various personalities. Trying to capture everyone’s reaction. Whenever a player does anything it immediately then tracks back to follow the player -even if the play is proceeding somewhere else on the pitch. Why can’t they simply let us watch the action on the pitch?

Oh, I feel just a little better now. For one minute there I nearly forgot my anger and disappointment along with the sense of injustice as I got into my standard TV camera rant.

The good news though, as stated before, is that we are going to be in Europe. But, what a letdown. To lose like this. It was not a contest really. It was 12 against 10. And I had been so excited for this game.

So, onto Monday now. I truly believed we’d be able to wrap up the season today. I truly believed (and still do) that we’re a better team than that lot. Turns out Tierney does not see it that way. Of course, Leeds could make a similar argument. They made us work for it. I will retire to repair my wounds, put on my game face and hope that I can rediscover my mojo for Monday. How sad is it that now, rather than check out the opposition players, I’m checking who’s referring the next game. It’s Darren England. Whoever he might be. Maybe we should ask for Jonny English instead.

-LB7

Oh Yes. That’s what happens when you leave Oh No on the bench. Three points earned within the first 20 minutes and then a relative training exercise apart from some angst once they scored.

Eddie is soaring like an eagle (sorry, a reference to an Olympian from the 1980’s there). Cigarette could not and would not have scored either goal. The first was just pure opportunism and hard work. Even Wright-esque if you will. And the second one was actually quite difficult but well taken. His overall link up play was also excellent. It’s amazing to see the growth and evolution in his all-round play in these last few matches. His form could not be more timely. Cigarette was crying out to be extinguished. Eddie, basically – along with Elneny (I kid you not) , has helped turned this team around. Last year it was Saka and ESR. This year it’s another Hale End product and the-most-boring-player-ever. Ok, maybe there are a few others that have contributed. Xhaka was excellent today. Because of the nature of Leeds, Xhaka was played slightly further upfield with just Elneny covering the back-line. But back to Eddie, by the end, he looked knackered again which indicates he’s still working on adjusting to all this playing time. There could still be more from this boy. I go back to his miss against Everton. At that point I’d have been happy to throw the towel in on this guy. He’s not going to turn into Messi anytime soon but he’s proved that he is worthy of a place in this current team. And, going forward, as we confidently stride back onto the Eurostar (second-class seats only please) as we re-enter into Europe, he should be one of two or three forwards. Assuming he wants to stay. Which he must. Why would he want to join a bang-up average team like Palace or Brighton for more predictable playing time. Well, aside from the fact that both teams embarrassed us only a few weeks ago.

Finally, we’ve sorted out the starting position of Nuno. Dear old Oh No has a bright future as one of our trainers easing cramp on our players. Martinelli appreciated that contribution today. And that, thankfully, was his only contribution today.

What a difference he made to the team today. By his absence we finally saw what a solid, reliable and talented left-back could do for this team. We finally had some balance to this team. Notice how both goals and most of our attacks came down the left? When was the last time we saw that. How much more confident was Gabriel – not having to worry about a runaway, random bundle of chaos on his left. The defense – though untested largely – was able to deal with Raphinha. In the first half Tomi was able to track back and battle him without the usual heart in mouth moment we’ve suffered under Oh No. Instead of the fear of Oh No we had the quality and stability of Tomi. No angst just an actual footballer who understands the game. And it’s not like Tomi is a grizzled, experienced players. He’s barely three years older. But with him at left back we were able to free up Xhaka and increase our fluency. Let’s just hope that Oh No can stay on the bench for the remaining three games. Without Oh No, the natural order could be returned. And that meant our worst player reverted to being Cedric. As it should be.

Another reason for the shift to being so focused on the left-hand side was the sparkling Martinelli. He roasted Leeds today. In addition to creating the second goal he basically tore them apart today. One of his best games in quite a while. Xhaka played through some sublime passes for him today. Martinelli was at the center of most action today. From that perfect pass to Eddie to their sending off. I’m sure, even by that early stage, Ayling was so frustrated with Martinelli that he went all-Xhaka on him. This was one time when VAR came to our rescue. As soon as you saw the first replay you just knew if it was Xhaka jumping in then he’d already have been taking an early shower. Thankfully Kavanagh watched the replay himself.  Between a couple of penalties and the help of VAR ever since Southampton we finally seem to have got our fair share of luck. I don’t mean we were lucky to have Ayling sent off – that was well deserved. But we were lucky that Ayling was so reckless and stupid to have committed that unnecessary tackle. Very Xhaka-like.

But even before all this action, we were dominating the game. The balance in this team is so much better. No just because of Oh No being on the bench. We barely missed White. Holding, with his full head of hair, was solid. But with Elneny being available to receive the ball immediately in front of them, we’ve taken some of the weight off Gabriel. Our overall interplay is quicker and transitions happen quicker with Eddie also helping here. Odegaard was majestic again though he has to deal with Cedric behind him. Saka was a little quiet by his high standards but still managed to set up a few opportunities.

The only negative today – aside from not keeping a clean sheet – was our inability to really pile on the goals. Our inability to get that 3^rd or 4^th goal was highlighted by their one shot and one goal. We should really have put the game away by then. We missed so many chances as we understandably dominated the game. Credit to Leeds though, they worked hard and continued to try and play football. Apart from that little shit James who is a nasty little dirty fucker. Someone needs to go all Ayling on him.

The last 10 minutes were unnecessarily nerve wracking. We even brought on Pepe. He’s been on the bench for an eternity. Yet again though, when he comes on he barely flickers. He is our own version of Grealish. A large transfer fee. And very little return. Surely, he will be sold this summer. Even with European football, it’s hard to see where he fits now. With the emergence of Saka and ESR, his time has come and gone. Maybe if we end up in the NoHoppaCup he could help us against the sub-standard teams out of unknown parts of Europe. But I’d still rather get $20m and sell him on. He’ll be quite effective in the French or Spanish Leagues. But he was not built for the EPL.

Four wins on the trot. Assured of a place in Europe we now enter the NLD knowing that whatever happens we will still be 4^th. I had to force myself to watch the Liverpool game this weekend. Unfortunately, they looked nearly decent and should have won the game in the last few minutes but Hojbjerg bottled it. So, you know they will be up for it on Thursday. Their dirty little captain, Captain England, will be dangerous and jumping in with two footed challenges. Son will be threatening, and they will play their boring counter-attacking game. But with Tomi to cover Kulusevski we should at least be able to defend properly. If we can come away with a draw I’ll be happy. We just need our luck to run our way for one more game. It’s not actually the most important game of the season. Arguably that was the 4-2 turnaround game at Chelski. But, of course, it’s against those arrogant, upstart twats. I’d have been happy with the NoHoppaCup at the start of the season but, more than anything, I don’t want them to get into the Champions League. It’s not that I desperately want to be there. I know we will with time. Next year, given the growth and development of this team. I have no doubt. But I’m buggered if those tossers should be in it. Can you imagine the pain and grief on Kane’s face knowing that he can no longer escape to Man City and he’s stuck playing in the NoHoppaCup for the rest of his career. How beautiful will that be.

But even after this NLD, there will be plenty of opportunity for both of us to drop points. Though these two teams are on different trajectories, we have in common inconsistency. Both teams tend oscillate between mediocrity and excellence. This game will be physical, intense and exhausting. So I would not bet against either of us dropping further points.

Last word now on the Arteta contract. That was a smart move and the timing was clever. It tells any future potential summer signings we have stability and a long-tmer plan. There are one or two twats out there claiming it was too soon to reward him. Claiming that he’s not earned it because we’ve not won anything yet. So, first off, he won us the F A Cup. And secondly, what the fuck did they expect him to win? The League? They are just miserable morons that can’t see the development and progress of this team. He’s turned over nearly an entire squad, got rid of the dead wood (both expensive and also the cheap) and returned us to a style of play we can be happy with. And he’s introduced youngsters. And he’s got us back into Europe. I love the idea that we offered him the contract after the three losing games. That tells me that there is some (though how much I don’t know) football intelligence within Arsenal. And it’s been a while since you could say that. So even if the NLD is a disaster, in the broader context, I know which team has a brighter future.

-LB7

Three-peat. Three losses in a row against bang average teams and then three wins in a row against ostensibly good teams. Three points. And now go off, renew your passport and pack your bags for Europe. Arexit is over. Europe will be putting out banners to welcome us back. In a couple of weeks we’ll know whether it’s the NoHoppaCup or the Champions League. If it were not for that other team competing for 4^th I’d be a tiny bit agnostic. Champions League might require too much of a relaunch of our squad. But I’m buggered if we should give that 4^th place up to those trumped-up wankers.

This was not a riveting game. WHU had their focus on Thursday. Which is a shame for them cause they won’t lift that cup. But for us, we had a below average team against us. Apart from Demolition Rice they are not that scary though Moyes has them actually trying to play football. If only Man United weren’t such egotistical fools he could have saved them a lot of pain.

We missed White today even if Holding held us together. In addition to our first goal – and his first ever in the Premier League – his willingness to throw himself at any shot and his defensive heading provided the needed stability. Arguably he’s as good as defender as White albeit a little slower. The issue is more on the creative side which White excels at. Having Tomi alongside him was a welcome sight. Even for his first game he locked down anything on their right and was so much more reliable with his distribution.

Gabriel had to deal with chaos on his left. Our boy Nuno – or, rather, Ohno – was his usual disaster. I can’t believe WHU did not target him more. Listen, I know Arteta continues to talk him up and explain that as a youngster he needs time to settle in, learn and develop. But, honestly, I wish that would happen in someone else’s team. Today he gave the ball away, failed to close down their wingers, overdribbled when in possession and generally destabilized the entire team. All these dangerous crosses came from his side. For their first goal he should have prevented the cross but, as ever, his starting position for when Rice pass the ball out to their winger was way off – he was too central – and then failed to close him down. Even when Ramsdale managed to save Rice’s header from the corner and the ball fell in the 6 yard area dear old Ohno managed to lose his footing. Against any team with a decent right winger he will be pulled apart. When we play the wankers they will have a field day with Ohno. He is just not ready. And shows no indication of learning his lessons. In the first half (I think) he stormed up field and drove into 3 WHU players as opposed to releasing the ball. Now we have assured entry into Europe (assuming we fill out all the COVID paperwork and remember to take all those tests) I suppose we have less to lose. But, unless we switch Cedric to the left, we are in for a very painful 4 games. He will certainly cause us to concede goals and drop points. He is an absolute liability with no indication of progressing. His throw-ins are a certain turnover. His marking is so lacks. His positioning is nearly always wrong – see how everyone shouted at him when they scored. They knew was at fault. I’m going to need a ton of therapy for the remainder of the season. He drives me fucking nuts. And I don’t see that changing until Tesco Tierney comes back.

I suppose sign of a maturing team is winning when we don’t play well. By that standard we must be pretty mature then. We were solidly defensively – excluding Ohno of course – with Elneny and Xhaka providing good cover. There was little creativity though. Saka shone – as ever – and Eddie worked hard. Odegaard did not see too much of the ball. Our problem is the left hand side now. Obviously that starts with Ohno. But even Martinelli was off today. His passing was off and he was peripheral for most of the game though he did set up the winning goal. All our action was down our right. A combination of Tomi, Odegaard and Saka is skillfull and inventive enough to trouble any team. Unfortunately, the combination of Ohno, Xhaka and Martinelli just are not at the same level. Not to blame Xhaka who again – aside for two careless give aways – was quite solid and creative.

Eddie should have scored today. He had two breakaways. Not that Cigarette would have been able to even get into those positions as he lacks Eddie’s pace. But today, when he dropped deeper, was able to help with the link up play. He won’t win the ball in the air but he will work hard. By the end he was knackered. He’s not played in a long-long time. He needs time to build up his match fitness. But he helps our team and continues to warrant his starting pace.

I thought Arteta should have changed things up quicker in the second half. ESR should have come on sooner but not for Saka but in place of Martinelli. And adding Sambi was delayed too long. Luckily WHU were pretty toothless. I’m not sure Ramsdale had a shot to save in the second half. But we did just enough today. It’s not too often we end up with two goals each from our center-halfs. Grinding out 3 points when your sub-par though is a critical skill for any team. You can’t rip up every team you play. And, though there was a lot missing from our game today, the fact that we walked away with 3 points is yet further evidence of the progress of this team. This is the kind of result we should have been able to earn against Palace, Brighton or Southampton. Maybe we just can’t get points south of the Thames.

That is most likely the last time Mike Dean will ever referee a game of ours. It was shocking to me that Xhaka did not somehow managed to pick up a yellow card. And that Dean did not send any of our players off. It says something about the state of referring in this country when he is no longer the poster child for appalling refereeing – for that, please see Paul Tierney. I thought VAR might have stolen Gabriels goal from us but we were spared that injustice. For the last three games we seem to have more luck on our side. Long may it continue. We’ll need it on Sunday against Leeds. We have to win that. Liverpool should demolish the wankers (who will hopefully pick up numerous illnesses, diseases and red cards). Which would leave us 5 points ahead with three games left. Then a draw at their shitty place should be just about enough given that a resurgent Burnley should put them to the sword. That or we’ll need to order some pizza for them. So let’s hope both Tomi and Saka can recharge their batteries and that White can also recover – we’ll need his creativity against Leeds. But they will be dangerous as they will be desperate for points. It’s just a shame Chelski let us down today. They really do like to concede embarrassing goals.

So, I just realized, no more Saturday fixtures for us this season. It’s some hodgepodge of Sundays, Thursday and Monday.  But we are close now. And even if we do find a way to trip up (yes, Ohno, I’m talking about you) we’ve already qualified for Europe. Before the season started we’d have taken that. And after the first three games no-one would have thought that was possible. But three wins in a row and the three points today now have us even looking at third place. But I’d settle for 4^th, thank you very much. And, just to spite those upstart wankers.  Call me bitter (spell correct tried to turn that into butter) if you want. But, after an uninspired three points today we’ve hit our first milestone and now I can start to think of how I’d like others to suffer. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s really quite normal. And healthy. That’s’ why we are real fans.

-LB7

A tail of two penalties. And two teams going in opposite directions. This was not the Chelski game. This was harder work, more nerve wracking and therefore less enjoyable to watch. Not because of United but us. The team picked itself after Wednesday. That perfect start seemed to surprise us. But we dominated them from the start and deservedly went 2-0 up before they pulled one back.

Today though, I felt that we lost our way for periods of the first half and for a large part of the second. And most of the cause was individual mistakes and sloppiness. And both can be traced back to our fullbacks.

Two, for me, was the theme of the day – two unreliable full-backs, two solid mid-field players, two captains both on the bench and two penalties.

Even with the first goal to his credit Tavares was an unmitigated disaster today. A complete liability. You could see his confidence ebb away from him as the game went on. In the first half a lovely Ronaldo flick put through Elanga in a foot race with Tavares which he lost and was close to conceding a penalty and being sent off. Ramsdale bailed us out of that. But in the second half he continued to find ways to give the ball away in simple situations. He holds onto the ball for too long. He overcomplicates his possession and allows the attacker to close down the space. You can see the damage he does to Gabriels mental state. There were times when he was shouting at Tavares to get into the right position. Then, of course, there was their penalty. Who the fuck jumps up leading with their hand? By the end I was screaming at Arteta to get him off the pitch. And especially after he gave the ball away again and then pulled the guys short for a yellow card. Then I was shouting at the ref to send him off thus ensuring he could not play against West Ham. To say that Tavares is young and developing is like saying my bald head still has a chance of growing back a full head of vibrant, lush, long hair. It ain’t going to happen. He lacks commons football sense and will continue to disrupt our defense.

On the other side we had Cedric continuing to make poor passing decisions and generally destabilize our own defense. Sancho was running rings round him – as, to be fair, he would to most defenders. But a prime example was when Ramsdale made another save at his near post and, as the ball bobbled, rather than allowing Ramsdale to collect it, he hoofed it out but miscued for a corner. Thankfully, we had the pleasure of Tomi making a cameo appearance in the last few minutes. Maybe, we can switch one liability for another. Cedric can switch to the left and consign Tavares to the bench.

This was a vital victory. We deserved to win but, man, we used up that luck we did not have against Southampton. They hit the bar, had a marginal offside goal disallowed and, most importantly of all – the match turning point – missed their penalty. At this stage we had lost control of the game. As the second half wore on we could not keep the ball or impose ourself. But fortunately, we were saved by Xhaka with an immense goal. Which, we were lucky, was not deemed offside. Eddie obscured the view of De Gea. But this was a worthy reward for Xhaka. With Elneny alongside him he is able to play a more central role. All good things, like on Wednesday, ran through him. He does not have to play so deep – that is what Elneny does – and consistently was able to release Odegaard and Saka. As immense as Saka was today, I thought Xhaka was the key. And it was a pleasure to see him lap up the adulation from the crowd after his goal – we’ve not seen that in many years.

Elneny is helping this team. He picks up the ball from the defense and keeps the ball flowing. He takes pressure off of White and Gabriel. He is available to receive and keeps it simple. And, given the space United afforded both him and Xhaka, he was able to link up play in a way that Sambi can’t. Between them, these two provide a solid springboard to help feed both Odegaard and Saka. I exclude ESR because today he was somewhat peripheral. But after his masterful goal on Wednesday, that can be forgiven. But if I was Martinelli, sitting on the bench, I’d be pissed.

Eddie should still retain his place. Though he missed a key opportunity he worked hard, linked up well and gives pace and energy to us. Unfortunately, the goal he did score was offside – it looked offside in real-time – but amazingly VAR then helped us with a penalty. Again, luck was favouring us today. In prior games we’d not have got that call. BTW, how shabby was their defense. Even without the forehead of Maguire, Varane and Dalot conspired to gift us our first goal. And then Dalot was careless with charging into Saka.

Saka was immense today. All good things run through him. His partnership with Odegaard continues to blossom. I love the fact that he took the penalty and was not intimidated by the wait or the United players. That two penalties in two games and both because of fouls on Saka. It’s the Noah’s Ark of football.

Odegaard continues to create and influence this team in pivotal ways. His vision is Ozil-like but with a workethic lacking in the German. We saw him work hard and chase back to help out his team. But in the final third you want the ball at his feet (or Sakas). Odegaard quickness of thought created our opportunities today. It was just surprising that United afforded him so much space in that first half. And then as the game stretched again, he came back into it. Though, once Saka went off it was noticeable how he lacked his colleague as an effective outlet.

But these pairings are what is energizing this team. White and Gabriel locking up the defense, Xhaka and Elneny in midfield and then Saka and Odegaard. That’s a new type of spine for a team. All supported with Ramsdale. His distribution has still not gotten back to his pre injury state – case in point his pass in the first half straight to McTominay. And sometimes his decision to pass out from the back is scary. But he is nothing but brave in his decisions. Today he made a number of vital saves. Whereas on Wednesday he had little today United had their chances. But he was able to repel them. The save in the second half when he was able to flick their full backs shot (I think it was Telles) onto the post.

This was a much closer game than the scoreline would indicate. As poor as United are, on another day they could have levelled the score with the penalty, or seen some of those shots ricochet from the bar or post into the net. We were not as dominant as we were against Chelsea. But today the force was with us. Luck favours the brave. And United were anything but. Actually, I thought Ronaldo was one of their better players. He created, inevitably scored and linked up well and worked hard. Whereas most of the rest of them looked clueless. So why did they get of Ole? How exactly did Rangnick help them? What a shambles of a club they are. And to announce their new manager when the season is at this pivotal stage is so Sp*rs-like.  On the topic of managers, ours just about pulled all the right strings today. By keeping the team unchanged to finally putting Holding on to shore things up. He clearly trusts the man with a full head of hair. Once he got on the field, we seemed much more stable.

So another unexpected victory even if a more edge of the seat one. There are now five more games left – more than 10% of the season. Who knows which Arsenal turns up. With such a young, inexperienced team we have seen higher peaks and lower valleys. And that will continue. After that 3 game slump who knows? Today we saw both sides of us. The period in the second half when we look lost and you just knew that one of Cedric or Tavares would make a brain-dead mistake. And against WHU, a team of grizzled, veteran grown-ups, we will be bullied and harried. Let’s just hope they have one eye on their NoHoppa semi-final and their injury list. And let’s hope Saka has not picked up an injury that keeps him out of the team. He is key to our success now. His leadership and assertiveness in this team is becoming clearer with every game. And manifests itself with him taking the penalties. Which, after the Euros, is a brave decision from a 20 year old. But he is our spiritual leader now. And we need him.

So, we can regain our breath now after two crucial games over the last four days and enjoy the glow of six points. We seemed to have finally turned that corner and left behind the despair of that three game loosing streak. We have put ourselves back in contention for the Champions League. And also established a solid fallback position to the NoHoppa Cup. We can still blow this. But others are finding ways to drop points. Let’s hope the real Chelski turns up tomorrow and that they’ve sorted out all their problems with the playing surface at the Bridge. A few more WHU injuries and red cards would be welcome.

-LB7

Knock me down with a feather. What just happened? This was pre international break Arsenal. I thought we’d lost that team to be replaced by the hollow team of the last three weeks. Where have they been?

We scored a goal without a deflection. And then proceeded to score yet more. Let’s ignore for the moment that we conceded. We played stylish, open, creative football. We controlled large parts of the game. We also defended (in the second half) in a coherent and coordinated manner. This was reminiscent of how Arteta structured us in our F A Cup run. 

After seeing the team selected I assumed (as I had after the last match) that we were royally fucked. There was no way we could compete with bankrupt chelski. But this was Artetas day. Everything he touched turned to goals and three points. As wrong as he got it against Brighton was more than offset by how every move he made was perfect. Against the master tactician Teuchel he out tacticed him. From the initial move back to a back three to every in game adjustment. Whereas we’ve question his slowness to adapt, for this game he was one step ahead of each of their moves. And how animated was he on the touch line. Compare that to his passive and sullen presence on the touch line against Palace and Brighton. He believed in this team today (technically yesterday).

The transformation of this team was amazing to watch. To see the progressive team of this season reassert itself was uplifting and completely unexpected. It makes you believe in a higher force at work. Even higher than Arteta. 

Southampton was an aberration. We were devoid of luck (and goals). Here though we had a little luck – as did they though for their jammy first goal. Care of Christiansen, we had our first goal since the invention of electricity. But who actually believed Eddie would score? He was calm and poised as he clinically put us one nil up. And who thinks Cigarette could have scored from that position? You’re all liars if you thought he would.  I have been consistently doubting of Eddie. I have have nightmares about his missed header at Everton. Today though he was on fire. Sure the breakdown in his link up play gave rise to one of their goals. But his pressure, persistence and pace were needed in this team. He helped Saka, ESR and Odegaard. One summer does not a swallow make. But this was a performance from him of genuine promise. Enough, for sure, to earn him a starting position against United. He will now get that run in the team that he has been craving. A chance to consistently prove us all wrong. Maybe he’ll still be gone at seasons end. So what. We need him to play like this for 6 more games. And consign Cigarette to the bench. 

Then we have to look at Xhaka. One of his best performances as well. With a solid, reliable (aka boring) Elneny alongside him we saw a more creative Xhaka. His risky nutmeg play in our box was the catalyst for that sublime second goal. The entire move was positive, direct and quick; no hesitation as possession  progressed up the pitch. But that finish by ESR. Remarkable. The poise and grace of that goal. That is instinct. You can’t learn that skill. Breathtaking stuff. Once released by Xhaka it was created by 20 year olds. Made in the cresh of arsenal. 

Odegaard was as quick and Intelligent in his movement and passing even as they tried to hack him down. He linked up with Xhaka and released the youngsters in front of him. Chelski could not get control of him.

Holding and Elneny were certainly rusty as the game started. Each giving away possession with poor passing. But then each grew into game. Elneny, did I’m mention that he was boring, so let me say he was as boring as ever but pivotal to protecting our  back three. And Holding being tough and physical with Werner and the vanishing Lukaku. Which was needed as White was a little careless again. He was caught for their second goal – which did look like a foul – as was Tavares. But Gabriel was immense today. Very little distribution but vital blocks and last ditch defending.

Which just leaves Saka and ESR. They came of age against Chelski over a year ago at home. They love playing Chelski. Here we saw them at their most fearless. ESR could have scored a couple more times. His ghosting into positions was reminiscent of the legendary Freddie. Except ESRs close control bewildered Chelski. And Saka just refused to be bullied and instead ripped Alonso apart creating havoc whenever he was on the ball. You could see he enjoyed today. Especially that penalty. How often do we get those calls? How often do we have that luck? 

With all the money they have spent Chelski fans should get used to a new reality. Any new owners will not provide blank checks based on oligarch money. They will have to compete in the real world now where the rest of us (aside from Man City) live. And hopefully this will cause the financial doping they introduced to abate somewhat assuming, that is, that Newcastle don’t replicate their approach. Anyway it was nice to see the plastic, jonny come lately Chelski fans stream out of the ground so early. They deserved this. As did we. Today, we deserved and earned this victory. It restored some faith. It swept away some of the fear we all had for the rest of the season. And, fuck me, was it unexpected!

So, am I nervous for Saturday? Hell, yes. But, whatever happens we will always have Stamford Bridge and 4-2. No-one can take away that joy. That happiness – that after the last three games – I’d feared had vanished for the season. The sheer pleasure of watching the re-emergence of our new arsenal. The enjoyment in seeing sublime goals and the outright suffering of Chelski to boot as well. We deserved this. This is what joy feels like. I have the glow back. And we have a few days to bask in the glory of a famous victory. 

-LB7

I’m turning into a vampire. On the 44^th minute my blood drained away. Three games now. And each time I lose a little more of my limited blood supply. Soon the fangs will be protruding. On the plus side, I’ll be out at night and won’t be around to watch AFC.

Today was not on Arteta. The team selection is what we should have gone with against Brighton. And, today, we should have won this game. As against both Palace and Brighton, they shoot and they score. Whereas with us we shot and we either miss or find away to make a lumbering, giant of a man look like a good keeper. This guy is more like the jolly green giant except that he’s not jolly and is frighteningly ugly. He should be awarded a yellow card just for turning up. But somehow we managed to not take the numerous chances to score. It’s like the goal machines that was Saka and ESR has been vanquished. With Cigarette having caught COVID we finally had Eddie start a game. It was not his fault that we lost the game but it’s not like he lite the place up either.

Saka should have scored from Martinelli breakaway in the first half and then ESR should have scored in the second. Between that we had complete control of the game. Yes we were slightly ponderous and slow. But we were much but than the previous two weeks. Yet we still found a way to give them a goal. And, as we all know now, we are incapable of scoring. Three games now without a clean goal.

So when they did score – against the run of play – the blood drains out of the body because you know there is 45 mins of pain ahead. Playing Xhaka in midfield helped stabilize the team. Sambi had another solid game. He is finding his way. He was less defensive and help provide some limited momentum. Saka started on the left. I assume to give protection to Tavares. And he, muzeltov, made it past the first half. Quite an achievement. There were a few occasions when he got lost, out of position upfield. But he was not to blame to day.

Martinelli was more involved than Odegaard who was a little absent. But then he had behind him the master of all free-kicks, Cedric. Two free-kicks that were beyond embarrassing. And his overall passing today was very hesitant. He was more uncomfortable than we’ve seen for a number of weeks. At some point we have to get Tomi back – even if he’s only standing on one leg.

Unfortunately, beside him we had White putting in a Brentford like performance. There were a number of occasions where he was too slow on the ball, allowed it to bounce in front of him and was generally out played by their forward. Twice he should have cleared balls in the box but instead gave chances to them. He was nutmegged for one and then hesitant on another. Overall, he was way too sloppy. Alongside him Gabriel was more solid today so no complaints there.

Ramsdale had no real chance with their goal and aside from that had barely anything to do. One shot and one goal! Somehow we have to get a lucky break here. Though with the upcoming fixture list it’s only going to get tougher. Maybe against these other teams they will open up more and create more space for us. But I suppose this is what happens when you are relying on 20 year olds to score your goals.

We definitely got better as the game went on. The passing improved and the speed picked up. Saka reverted to the left, linked up with Odegaard and got him into the game more. But that final pass, whether it was in the inside channel to Eddie or out wide to Saka was just marginally off today. Sambi pushed up further and Xhaka was one of our creative outlets but we just could not take our chances.

So as frustrating and depressing as today was – especially on the back of the last two weeks – this was an improvement. Of course, that is a frightengly low bar and not one that a team that aspires to Europe should be measured against.  Maybe in the next transfer window we might acquire some luck. Mr. Rick O’Shea or Mr. Jammy Basterd. Because Eddie and Cigarette wont’ help us.

Maybe Arteta could have made his changes earlier but it was clear that if we’d have played for another 180 minutes we just were not going to score. At some point this dam bursts. But until then it’s pure suffering.  

I mean, let’s face it. How do you lose to Palace, Brighton and Southampton without scoring a single, clean goal? This has the potential to get a lot more miserable. Luckily there are only 7 more games for us to lose. These were our easy games. Though we’ve clearly proven that for us there are no easy games. Not this version of us. The pre International break version would have cantered through this games. Now we are on the edge of an abyss, if not outright falling into one. The only reason we’re not already dead and buried in relation to Europe is that the other teams are trying to be as shitty as we are.

Midweek will not help us but the home game against United now takes on even more significance. If we want to play in Europe we have to beat them. They are as crappy as we are. But they tend to better away from home. Somehow Arteta has to find a way to get some self-belief back into this team. We have to find a way to put the ball in the net (preferably theirs). Until then we will continue to drop like a stone. Gravity could yet drag us back to 8^th. For Chelski we should just pack the defense and play like Burnley or Bolton. Try to grind out a point. We can only hope they have to play extra-time tomorrow. They’ve had a difficult, busy schedule. Maybe we could catch them on an off-day. They will, of course, catch us on our usual, off-day.

Then it’s Man United. I don’t see what Arteta can do to change this up. Pepe can’t start, ESR has been to inconsistent. And, when you looked at the bench today, you realized how thin this squad is. Not that I’d want any of the players we dumped in January. But it speaks to the vicious cycle we’re now in. We need more players but until we have a viable team playing in Europe it’s hard to get the players we need. To build we need to retain our trajectory. We have to be able to offer some European football.  Currently, we can barely offer Premier League football.

On the bright side. Oh, hold on. There isn’t one. As much fun as it was to see that lot lose to Brighton it failed to make up for the misery today. And the feeling that we watching the dissipation of all that’s been good this season. To get so close to the Champions League and then to miss out on the NoHoppaCup will be crushing. It will wipe out any goodwill Arteta has created this season. It will put him under tremendous pressure. It will cause our best players to wonder about this project. Except that today was on them. They had the chances to win this game. It was not like we did not turn up. We were not perfect. I mean we did have Cedric out there. But we did enough to get something out of this game. Instead we made the ugliest man in the league (aside from the captain of England) look like a lifesaving goalkeeper. Our lives are just now outright miserable. And we don’t deserve this. We are better than this. So it’s time to get out the Ouji boards, Buddhas or whatever it is we all pray to. Arteta did all he could do today. Now it’s up to us. We need to invoke all our spells to give this team some luck. A penalty would be much appreciated. A deflection. An own goal. A red card for the opposition. Things we have not benefited from. Anything. So, spend you time wisely. Maybe don’t over pray for Wednesday because we’ll need some luck at the weekend as well.

In the meantime, I’m going to protect myself with some garlic and find a blood transfusion – just not from Cigarette. COVID is the last thing I need at this point. All I need is 3 points. And not from the remaining games. But from one, complete game. I’d like to win a game. Please. Pretty please. I like to enjoy watching this team again. It’s just too painful, too hard at the moment.

-LB7